It would fill me with a feeling, a feeling I later tried to dupicate with alcohol and finally found again with Clare, a feeling of unity, oblivion, mindlessness in the best sense of the word.

我突然有一种感觉，在后来，我试图通过酒精来寻找这种感觉，最终，在碰到克莱尔时又找到了它，确切的讲，那是一种被结合在一起的，顿时失去知觉和意识的感觉。