A great leader will assess each situation on its merits, and will only take charge when their position, the situation, and/or the needs of the moment demand it.
An Indonesian family stopped a wedding after discovering the groom was a woman, only for an ex-boyfriend to save their blushes by stepping in to marry the bride.
But it is the matriarch who comes to the fore to defend her family and to decide how they should respond when the family is confronted by a serious threat.