Even worse, I had daily macabre fantasies of being operated on while I was still conscious, and watching my skin and organs being ripped apart.

更糟糕的是，我每天都会有种超恐怖的幻想，就是在我还清醒的时候就被开刀了，然后眼睁睁地看着我的皮肤和内脏一点点被刀子拉开。